Betty Weatherby
Age - 91
December 5, 2023
"Weatherby, Betty Jane (B. J. ) Watkins September 30, 1932 - October 10, 2023 B. J. Weatherby died at age 91 after several years of advanced dementia. B. J. was a woman always engaged with life and community, full of laughter, love, and conviction. B. J. was born in the small town of Grant (pop. 1,000) in Western Nebraska. Her parents, Ross \u0026amp; Lily Watkins, had longed for children for a long time so they adopted a niece, Martha Jeanne. Then they started getting pregnant -- first Barbara, then the twins Betty Jane (B. J. ) and Billy Bob (nope, not Elizabeth Jane or William Robert!), and lastly, Frances. B. J. loved being a twin and being part of a big, loving family. She did all the things you could do in Grant - cheerleading, dance, saxophone -- and she taught herself to play piano. She went to the University of Colorado at Boulder for college but before she turned 19, she married her first husband, dropped out, and supported them through his PhD program which he completed at Princeton. While in Princeton, B. J. worked for Educational Testing Services (ETS) and then worked for James Conant, managing a staff of researchers \u0026amp; secretaries conducting a Carnegie Foundation study of American high schools. When her husband earned a Fulbright in Europe in 1956 upon completing his PhD program, B. J. decided that while she would like to go to Europe, this was not the person with whom she should spend the rest of her life. So instead, she left New York and established residency in Montgomery, Alabama (briefly) in order to be able to get a divorce. In 1958, B. J. met Phil Weatherby in New York while she was dating his best friend. When Phil asked her out, she was appalled that he would poach his best friend's girlfriend, but learned that Phil had gotten full permission. Despite this rocky start and a brief separation based on a chess disagreement, they embarked on a long and happy marriage in 1959. In marrying Phil, B. J. gained two sons: Michael (9) and Craig (7). They made their home in Darien, CT where their daughter Tracy was born in 1961. B. J. got involved in parent committees developing policy and curriculum goals for the Darien School System. Phil was 15 years older than B. J. and they had planned to retire to the St. Thomas in the U. S. Virgin Islands. However, when Phil turned 50 and had sold advertising for McGraw-Hill for 25 years (as had his father before him), they decided it was time to change it up and they moved to St. Thomas in 1966 and Phil sold real estate rather than advertising. B. J. helped found the League of Women Voters in St. Thomas and served as the 2nd President. In 1972, she was elected to the Board of Elections as an independent candidate; the first independent candidate to ever win. In addition, she served on commissions on both land use and bond proceeds for capital improvements. In 1974, B. J. was serving on the Board of Trustees of Antilles School -- a private school, serving K-12th grade in St. Thomas -- which her daughter, Tracy, attended. When a newly hired headmaster absconded with funds before classes started, she was appointed Headmistress and served in that role for the next five years, bringing in new innovations such as Intersession Classes and professional college counseling. While she worked, she completed her bachelors in 1980 and completed a Masters in 1984 through NYU's Gallatin School. In 1980, B. J. and Phil moved to Detroit so that she could take a job as Headmistress of the Friend's School in Detroit. Phil died in 1982 and B. J. finished her job in Detroit in 1983. In 1985, she moved to Greensboro N. C. to be headmistress of New Garden Friend's School. There she found a wonderful community and became a practicing Quaker and joined the Board of Visitors for Guilford College. In 1987 (at the age of 55), B. J. wanted to do something new and formed her own desktop publishing company, Friendly Desktop Publishing. She jumped into the computer age with her Mac computer (9" screen) and taught herself complicated photo and print layout programs. She had a thriving business in brochures, handbooks, and books for many years. In 1988, Martin Laverne Nielsen (Vernie), B. J. 's first high school boyfriend, attended his high school reunion in Grant and met her sister and discovered that both he and B. J. had been widowed in 1982. He asked if he could write her and after 3 weeks of letters, he visited Greensboro. By the end of their weekend together, he had proposed marriage and she had accepted. While the rest of her family thought she had lost her mind when she agreed to marry a man she hadn't seen in over 40 years, once we met him, we knew what a wonderful man he was! With marriage to Vernie, B. J. gained another daughter, Nan Nielsen Hong. This Thanksgiving would have been their 35th wedding anniversary. Then came the grandchildren, first Clair Weatherby (Craig \u0026amp; Laura Inouye), then the Hong boys (Kyle \u0026amp; Christian) and finally, Zachary \u0026amp; Spencer Dembner (Tracy \u0026amp; Perry Dembner). B. J. \u0026amp; Vernie loved being a grandparents. When Mike married Debbie, Debbie contributed a grown son, Andris, to the brood. Vernie \u0026amp; B. J. moved to Friend's Home's independent living in 2012. B. J. continued her activism by organizing and moderating candidate forums and by working on Greensboro land use planning. B. J. was diagnosed with dementia around 2017, but it progressed slowly. Over the last few years, she lost her basic faculties and then her ability to speak, and in 2021, moved into the skilled nursing wing of Friend's Homes. But up until weeks before she died, she would greet almost anyone with a smile and a hug. She knew Vernie until the bitter end and seemed to recognize Tracy. We are grateful to Friend's Homes for the wonderful care all the staff provided in these last few years. B. J. loved travel \u0026amp; celebrations with friends and family, any opportunity to dance, holiday traditions, martinis, playing piano, crossword puzzles, and politics. One of the few blessings of dementia is that while she did see the results of the election of 2016, she did not have the cognition to know that Roe had been overturned and that our democracy continued to be threatened. She would have been so mad! If you wish, you can honor B. J. in a variety of ways: donate to Planned Parenthood, Friends Committee on National Legislation or ProPublica; join your local League of Women Voters, become a poll worker, or host a candidate forum. A celebration of B. J. \u0027s life will be held at 2:00 pm on December 9th, 2023 at Guilford Friend\u0027s Homes Living Room, in Greensboro, N. C. Friends and family are welcome!"Show more
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