Penelope Kilburn Obituary

Penelope ("Penny") Prescott White Kilburn passed away at her home in Chevy Chase on August 20, with her husband and family at her side. Born on June 25, 1940 -- the antipodes of Christmas, which meant there was no shorting her on presents -- she grew up in Baldwin, Long Island, the younger of two daughters of William Prescott and Marian Churchill White. After graduating from Oceanside high School in 1958, she followed in her sister and mother's footsteps and matriculated at Barnard College, where her mother (Class of '22) was a trustee of the college. Following graduation in 1962, Penny was accepted at Harvard Law School where she would have been in Ruth Bader Ginsberg's class. She elected to defer her enrollment to learn more about the practice of law and went to work as a receptionist at the law firm of Cravath, Swaine & Moore where she soon met a young attorney, Edwin ("Ed") Kilburn. A persistent suitor -- he was not the only man who realized this brilliant, beautiful woman was quite the catch -- he became her mate for nearly 60 years. They married on February 7, 1964, at a candlelight service at St. Andrew's Episcopal Church in Oceanside, New York. Two daughters, Penelope ("Nell") Allen and Nancy Kitchen, followed in 1965 and 1967, respectively. When the girls reached school-age, Penny chose teaching over law school. She taught first or second grades for many years at The Ranney School, which her daughters attended, and then became a second grade teacher at the public school in Holmdel, NJ. She didn't simply teach; she had a mission. She knew that children -- typically boys -- who hadn't learned to read in first grade needed to be taught to read successfully in second grade or they were likely to lose interest in learning and never fulfill their potential. She was committed to catching these struggling readers and providing them with the attention and tools they needed to read at grade level, often creating original phonics materials specifically designed for each child. For three years she was 100% successful and the kids, their parents, and the third-grade teachers who received those well-prepared readers loved her. "Education was important to her," says Barnard classmate and dear friend Angela DiDomenico. "She treasured Barnard and her mother and sister Cherry's involvement in the college. At our 5th reunion, her mother got us to star in a video that showcased the college and New York City as perfectly manageable for young women -- even those from the countryside of Long Island or New Jersey. " Later in life, Penny served for a decade as a Trustee of Keuka College, playing a significant role in the resurgence of the college, and continuing the legacy of her great-grandfather who had been part of the founding of the college and later served on the Board, and her grandfather who graduated from Keuka. After teaching, she moved in an entirely new direction, taking a job in the IT department of Northern Insurance Company. Three years later, she followed her dear friend and colleague Wally Clare to Johnson & Higgins, where she became a vice president, training the trainers who were to introduce an entirely new computer system into all the branch offices. As Wally puts it, "Penny was a leader. She worked for me to write the manual and lead the training for the business system we were creating. She was so successful she was promoted to lead a team of technical writers and trainers that was bigger than mine. I was so proud of her! Penny is not just a business colleague she is a friend; more like family. " At one time 38 employees, mostly young women, reported to her, and as ambassador to the branch offices adopting the new system, she travelled extensively. After a decade with J&H, she retired and she and Ed split their time between a home they had built in Scottsdale, AZ, and "The Farm" on Keuka Lake in Penn Yan, NY, where her parents and grandparents had also retired. They both thrived on this east-west retirement, which included many drives across the country seeing sights and visiting friends along the way. After nearly 25 years, they returned to the East Coast to be closer to their daughters in Penny's final years. Penny liked to work with her hands. She tended a robust vegetable garden at each of her homes, adjusting her crops to the climate and space. She was a talented seamstress, knitter, and crocheter, who typically had multiple projects in the works at any one time. She was an accomplished DIY'er before that was trendy, taking great pleasure in building and finishing furniture, hanging wallpaper, painting walls and pottery, and many other crafts. Penny's cooking skills were well-known, and she loved to host dinner parties, was justly famous in the family for her Thanksgiving pies, and enthusiastically tackled technically challenging baking projects such as preparing, shipping, and decorating a multi-layer cheesecake for daughter Nancy's wedding. Penny was a cradle Episcopalian and devout Christian who believed in service to others. In each parish throughout her life, she was active in nearly every committee, including the altar guild, where she took particular pride in her skill at removing wine stains from linens and vestments. St. Luke's Episcopal Church on Keuka Lake in Branchport, NY, had a special place in her heart as her grandfather and father had served as senior wardens before her, and she filled that role for many years, even though she and Ed were only at "The Farm" for the warmer months each year. In Scottsdale, Living Water Lutheran Church became her comfort and refuge when her health began to fail. Penny is survived by her loving husband, Ed, and daughters, Nell Shapiro (Ed) and Nancy Kilburn (Dan Smith) and her five grandchildren, Jack, Griffin, Dorothy, Julian, and Nellie, her sister Cherry Carnell (Tom), along with many nieces, nephews, grandnieces, and grandnephews. The family will host a Memorial Service on Saturday, September 16, at 11 am at St. John's Episcopal Church, Norwood Parish at 6701 Wisconsin Avenue in Chevy Chase, MD. In lieu of flowers, contributions can be made to St. Luke's Episcopal Church, 187 West Lake Road, Rte. 54A, Branchport, NY, 14418.